Thirsty

 1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
   so my soul pants for you, my God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
   When can I go and meet with God?
3 My tears have been my food
   day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
   “Where is your God?”
4 These things I remember
   as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
   under the protection of the Mighty One[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
   among the festive throng.
5 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.
6 My soul is downcast within me;
   therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
   the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep
   in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
   have swept over me.
8 By day the LORD directs his love,
   at night his song is with me—
   a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God my Rock,
   “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
   oppressed by the enemy?”
10 My bones suffer mortal agony
   as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
   “Where is your God?”
11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
My Savior and my God.
Psalm 42

I am thirsty. I find that in my life with my Father/Bridegroom/King that I am in one of two possible places. Either His waves and breakers are sweeping over me, totally enveloping me, or I am in the Sahara. There is no intermediate between the two, it is one or the other.
We harvest what we sow; we either sow into the Spirit or sow into the flesh, but we are always sowing to one or the other, whether realized or not. The thirsty times are painful, what I imagine withdrawal pain would be to a drug addict, the scriptures stating,"my bones suffer mortal agony". I have know this sensation, it truly is agonizing. The goal of my life: to hope in God, to pursue Him, to feast on His Word, to hear the whisper of His voice and the roar of His waterfalls, to have my heart not ache because of not being in His presence, but to ache because I am lovesick for Him, and I know that only He can satisfy the desires and longings of my heart and soul.