I Have To Believe/ The End of Myself

There are seasons in life, as Ecclesiates reads "a time for everything under the sun".
There are days when I'm flush with the strength of a spiritual Samson, feeling unstoppable, like I can bend that bow of bronze, brimming with the joy of the Lord, focused on the Prize.

What an awesome feeling when I am riding so high, soaring on eagles' wings.

But I must admit here and now that there are times when "the light gets dim", when I feel weary from the endless battles, with tough questions yet unanswered... When my legs can feel as if they are made out of cement, and my chest so heavy I can barely breathe. Working through mundane tasks and long days that the "finish line", the goal that I desire to reach at the end of this life, where my Father/Bridegroom will be waiting, seemingly becomes elongated like a special effect in a movie thriller, where I'm stuck in that endless hallway to nowhere.
I may put up a good front to others as I am going through the motions, but inside feeling as if I've been mired in quicksand... I brush past unsuspecting acquaintances, as I keep smiling, not wanting to disappoint those who look up to me, not engaging seriously with anyone for fear of being misconstrued as a "complainer", or worse.

I have to ask you, beloved, have you ever felt what I just described?

But casting my cares on Him, I am reminded:
"Remember those earlier days after you had received the light,
when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering.
Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution;
at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated.
You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions.
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,
you will receive what he has promised.
For in just a very little while,
“He who is coming will come and will not delay.
But my righteous one will live by faith.
And if he shrinks back,
I will not be pleased with him.”

But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed,
but of those who believe and are saved.
Hebrews 10:32-39

It's my faith in Jesus that delivers me through the hard times, not faith in myself.
I can do nothing alone, I cannot abide apart from Him.
I've long since reached the end of my rope. I can't shrink back, or go back, because there is nothing back there to go to, no more than Abraham, Lot, or the Israelites could go back. My Master promises me feet like hind's feet that will go on high places, not mired down in tar pits.
When I am going through these times, I remember the Psalmist's words:
Wait on the Lord, yes, Be strong and wait on Him.
I know that in each of us He has begun a good work and He will be faithful to complete it.