The Acquisition/Sold Out

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

Matthew 13:44

Imagine that you are an ordinary farmer, plowing the earth of an ordinary field, preparing the land for planting. You are working the land, having leased this property for years, doing what you've always done, just keeping both hands on the plow. The blade is carving through the ground as you concentrate to keep the furrows straight, then suddenly as a clod of earth is turned, you notice a glimmer, the rays of the sun reflecting something different, just for a moment. In all the time you've been tilling this land you have never seen anything like this before; stopping the plow you begin digging, sifting the dirt through your fingers. Then you find it: a huge diamond, and as you brush off the rest of the dirt even your untrained eyes can see its amazing color, clarity, and size.

Your mind is spinning, your heart is beating out of your chest. Looking about, you bury the diamond again, carefully marking the place, and acting nonchalant, you race home. As quickly as possible you liquidate every asset, selling off everything. Everyone close to you thinks you have lost your mind. There is nothing seemingly special about this property, those near and dear to you try to dissuade you, but you are determined. Approaching the land owner, you try not to be over eager and strike the deal of a lifetime, acquiring  the field, both the seller and buyer overjoyed at the outcome.

We sometimes use the term for a person who is on fire and focused on OneThing-Jesus our Messiah- as "sold out". When the Lord breaks through and plows things up, we find Him if we are seeking...  in the Spirit we catch a glimmer as the veil is parted. The sum value of  everything else is as dust on the scales, compared to the weight of glory found in Jesus, we strive to apprehend that which has apprehended us (Phil.3:12). 

Beloved, let's be "sell outs"...trade the good things in life for the best.

Staying Tender 310

See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful,
unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,”
so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
We have come to share in Christ,
if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end.
As has just been said: “Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.”
Who were they who heard and rebelled?
Were they not all those Moses led out of Egypt?
And with whom was he angry for forty years?
Was it not with those who sinned,
whose bodies perished in the wilderness?
And to whom did God swear that they would never enter his rest if not to those who disobeyed?
So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief.
Hebrews 3:12-19

The above text is read at Passover (the Hagaddah, meaning literally "The Telling") from the book of Exodus recounts the amazing story of God delivering the entirety of the nation of Israel from 400 years of slavery in Egypt. The people saw the plagues, walked through a parted Red Sea, were led by a pillar of fire by night and cloud by day, drank water from a rock, ate manna from heaven, never had to deal with shoes or clothes wearing out, and saw Moses speaking directly to God. Can you imagine that? What would be our response to such things? Yet these people, including Moses and Aaron, all died without entering into the Land of Milk and Honey, their bones scattered in the deserts, their children being the ones who claimed the inheritance. Only Caleb and Joshua, totally believing the Lord, the only two of the twelve who had spied out the land choose to believe, and brought back the good report, entered in. Two out of millions.
As strangers and sojourners in a strange land, we need each other. We are to share our testimonies, being transparent about our struggles and triumphs, lifting each other up when we stumble, encouraging one other. Rebellion comes when we take our eyes off the Lord, and turn our focus inwards towards ourselves.
Deception is not detected by the deceived ones.
We are our brothers' and sisters' keepers.
We are responsible for each other, provoking and sharpening one another in love,
right up until we cross the Jordan and enter our rest.
Hear His voice today beloved. Stay tender.

Vision 229

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
― Aibileen Clark to toddler in The Help

When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? 
My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” 
Judges 6:12, 14, 15 

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."
Philippians 2:3, 4

How do you see yourself?
How do you see others?
How do you think our Father sees us?

In The Help,  Aibileen speaks life over her young charges, declaring that they are kind, smart, and that they matter (are important). I was reminded as I watched this that these are words not forgotten as we mature, just as words spoken that are hurtful are not forgotten.
They either nourish our lives or poison them.
Gideon is one of my favorite Bible personalities. In his self assessment to the angel, I see myself, and in my mind echo th words that were spoken over me by my mother that scarred me: " you'll never be half the man your father is."  Gideon grew up being reminded of what he couldn't do, as well as his family's diminutive position within Israel's tribe hierarchy. But God saw Gideon's heart, and He had a different plan.
Using our natural eyes we tend to see ourselves one of two ways: very low self esteem like Gideon, thinking they have nothing to offer, or an inflated ("legend in their own mind") conceited ego/mindset   as if  they're "God's gift", which causes them to look down on everyone else.
We can also look at others in their current state and see only their many faults, instead of seeing them the way God sees each of us-a work in progress. A vessel needing to be filled. A possibility. Worthy of receiving the same grace and mercy that our Heavenly Father has extended to us.  Revelation  comes from The Helper, the Holy Spirit, who creates a new mindset, revealing that all things are possible-for each of us- through and with Jesus.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

Wrong in the Name of Righteousness 193

"When Jesus’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, “Lord, should we strike with our swords?” And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And he touched the man’s ear and healed him."
Luke 22:49-51

The disciples of Jesus were committed to their perception of righteousness.
The Holy Spirit had not yet fallen on them...they were zealous in their own minds,
and so they raised their swords, thinking that they were protecting their Master and themselves. But they misunderstood. They had somehow missed the message of the first and second greatest commandments: loving God first, and loving others secondly, and therefore what would flow outwards as such a response.
Jesus restored an injured man of the harm that a disciple acting wrongly had caused.

In the history of the Church, countless wars have been waged in the name of Jesus and a wrong sense of righteousness. In my humble opinion, the Church has been fragmented by doctrines and dogmas, the Body of Christ  dismembered, by a wrong sense of what the righteousness of God really is supposed to manifest, namely unity, restoration, renewal, and reconciliation:
"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:3-5, 10

Beloved, ask the Holy Spirit to enable us to extend the same grace to those we have previously judged, and probably misjudged, spoken against, or caused discord in the Body-just as our Father has extended so much undeserved grace and mercy on each of us. 

Father Knows Best

"The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil."
Isaiah 57:1

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8, 9

An amazing young man in Kansas City died this week, after being fatally injured in a terrible car accident.  The prayers  of thousands for his healing were going up to the heavens for 2 days as he lay in critical condition. He  loved the Lord with all his heart and he loved others as himself. He was actively involved in ministry, both locally and internationally. He was a worshipper, had a girlfriend he loved, and his whole life was before him, but the Father who had ordered his steps and the numbers of his days took his home. Why?
At least that is the way we, the creatures, see things. The good, the righteous are taken from among us, suddenly and without warning, and those who are left behind, find ourselves struggling to find answers to unanswerable questions. Why, God?
It is in this place, when there are no more tears left, when we are too exhausted to cry any longer, when we are finally quieted and still and falls into our Abba's comforting arms that we realize, yet again, that we are just the clay, and we must trust in a great truth: Father knows best. We can't not lean on our inadequate, shallow understanding.
Let us ask our Father to help us to see things from a heavenly perspective: "no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived the things God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9

"Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life." John 12:24, 25

No mind can conceive what waits for us, but for those of us who have been caught up into heaven, who have been granted a brief glimpse into what is coming, we are rendered homesick and lovesick. The way time here is measured is changed, and everyday that passes is a day closer to going home,. Death has no sting-it has become a way-point, like changing planes at an airport.
So remember, beloved, Father knows best.

Shake Well Before Using 8

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat."
Luke 22:31

"Shake well before using".

These instructions are often on the labels of all sorts of products.
 It seems that when the container, or vessel,  sits for a while, the ingredients have a tendency to separate. The heavy, thick, and dense stuff settles to the bottom, the light stuff to the top.
The only way to reconstitute the ingredients and make it usable for what it is intended for is to follow the maker's directions: shake that container vigorously before using.
Similarly, our Maker knows that our "ingredients", especially our God- given gifts, have a tendency to settle.  As we sit , shelved and undisturbed or unchallenged, or perhaps frozen by a variety of fears- of man, failure, foolishness, rejection, discouragement, and more, we can become inert and ineffective. But the Lord in His omniscience knows that the very things we can often dread - upheaval, shaking, pruning, and refining- brings reconstitution and restoration to a vessel, as trials can stir our gifts. Instead of devastation, potency is restored, and the vessel (us) is no longer rendered inert but transformed into powerful and useful, each able to fulfill our destinies!
It is what we are created for.
So don't fear a shaking, beloved.
You are about to be used for His Glory.

The Greatest of These (Abridged)

Love suffers long  and  is  kind to me when I don't deserve kindness, but judgement;
Love  does not envy me but rejoices in my success;
Love does not parade itself nor does it flaunt or agonizingly tease me in my downfalls or failures,
it is not puffed up nor does it behave rudely, even when every right to do so exists,
Love does not seek its own, is not provoked, love thinks no evil nor ever wishes me any harm;
Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but  rejoices in the truth;
Love bears all things, turning the other cheek to me,  in the face of offensive or wreckless behavior,
Love believes all things, and hopes continually for all things to my benefit and goodness,
Love endures all things even when I am thoughtless, causing pain and injury.
Love never fails. Love never fails. Love never fails.
Tongues, knowledge, prophecy....it will all fade away, and what will remain?
Faith, hope, love, these three stand ; but the greatest of these is love.
Lord, let me go and do likewise.
I Corinthians 13

King's Ransom

"Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit  who  is in you, whom you have from God,  and you are not your own.  For  you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s."

I Corinthians 6:19, 20 

" The bishop approached him and said, in a low voice, 'Do not forget, ever, that you have promised me to use this silver to become an honest man.' 

Jean Valjean, who had no recollection of any such promise, stood dumbfounded. The bishop had stressed these words as he spoke them. He continued solemnly, 'Jean Valjean, my brother, you no longer belong to evil, but to good. It is your soul I am buying for you. I withdraw it from dark thoughts and from the spirit of perdition, and I give it to God!" 

~Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

Believe it or not, last night was the first time I have ever seen any version of Les Miserables, although I heard a great deal. I was so struck by the truth that was spoken by the bishop to a wicked and depraved Jean Valjean, after this criminal was caught red handed with the bishop's silver wares. In the 1996 movie the bishop pulls back the hood shrouding this convict's face, the metaphor of moving from darkness to light, from evil to good, as he says the above words that changed a man, and everyone he touched, forever. 

As I tearfully watched this it hit me, yet again, but in a new and profound way: This is what God who loves us so furiously, beyond what we can fathom, has done for each of us beloved! He has paid a King's ransom for us-the price was the very life of His Son. Without His redemption we would only be what judgement measures: liars, thieves, adulterers, and worse.  As I watched that scene it was a reminder, and it was as if I was that criminal and Jesus Himself was pronouncing over me the words of the bishop. Ransomed by the love of the Father, now go out and do likewise. We are not to listen to the accuser, who like Inspector Javers, is always trying to use judgement and self righteous offense  to remind us of the old man, in ourselves and others. We have been forgiven and ransomed. Let us be ambassadors of love. 

This is the message of the Gospels.

Serendipity/ Kairos

ser·en·dip·i·ty  

The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way: "a fortunate stroke of serendipity".

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who  have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28 

I love the word serendipity.
The definition of serendipity is a"chance" development of events producing a beneficial outcome, but  in God there are no "chance" outcomes! What the world calls "coincidence" is what  I called God-incidence, when God does amazing things and chooses to remain silent. A better term would be "kairos"- Kairos (καιρός) an ancient Greek word meaning "the right or opportune moment (the supreme moment"). A momentous convergence of timing and opportunity, divinely orchestrated to glorify Himself and bless us simultaneously.
God works out all things for the good of those who love Him, even in the face of a seeming disaster;  when we are in the midst of trials let us remember that "it ain't over, till it's over, which means when God says it's over.
Furthermore remember the words of Jesus Himself: “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But  seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:31-33
Jesus is the "author and finisher" of our faith (Heb.12:2)...it starts and ends with Him, and let us fix our gazes on Him, and not be overly concerned about the process, and rejoice even when we don't understand some things that may be happening in our lives currently.
Serendipity...Kairos... God is on the throne  and in control!

Peace Makers or Peace Keepers? 188

"Come now, let us reason together.."
Isaiah 1:18

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
Proverbs 27:17

We all know the old adage, "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all."
Perhaps this is rhetorically correct, but sometimes isn't an uncomfortable discussion or confrontation necessary - that may bring provocation and conflict-before reconciliation or peace can be achieved? Let me rephrase this: What happens when no confrontation comes?
Let me propose to you: Not peace, not reconciliation, but unrest and more trouble.
Matthew 5:9 reads : "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God".
Peace is the result, when contention and unrest are dealt with thereby bringing reconciliation and sought. Sometimes making peace is the result of a battle, or on a personal relationship level,
the result of  some wrestling and exposing things that may be unpleasant to discuss,
but nonetheless must be worked through, in love,  to resolution.
Peace keepers are not the same as peace makers;
peace keeping is nonconfrontational but never deals with the issues.
The UN "peacekeepers are the foremost example I can think of here.
Being confrontational doesn't mean being unloving...it means that you care enough to resolve, it takes courage, love and a sound mind, and may require even sacrificing personal comfort levels to remedy.  Offense, bitterness, and hurtful thoughts, real or imagined, grow and thrive in fertile pastures of nonconfrontation.
So, beloved, don't confuse the two: peace making or peace keeping.
Today, let's ask God to help make us peacemakers. 

Overcast 189

"For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; 
weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. "
Psalm 30:5

"But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. And you will go out and frolic like well-fed calves. "
Malachi 4:2 

This morning I was talking to a friend, whom the Holy Spirit uses to deliver a word to me quite regularly. 
To be honest, I was telling him that I felt heavy hearted, and the message he delivered to me was this: "Sometimes emotions can be like cloud cover that obscures the sun from our sight;
Go outside and turn your face towards the sun." 
Does this mean that the sun is not shining? 
No, of course not, even in overcast weather, or when we have "clouds" over us, 
the Son of righteousness is shining, and with this realization we are able to bask in his healing rays. God's mercies are new every morning, and in the morning sunlight we are meant to be. 
The power of the Son's love and His righteousness burns off dark emotions that are like clouds, fog, and other inclement elements...today beloved turn your face and your heart towards the Son....

Gifts in Unusual Wrapping 194

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28 NIV84)

Last night we had a couple over for dinner; and although we have been friends for some time,
they had only been to our home once before. As we stood in the kitchen, I began to recount some of our history in this house and how things happened,  seemingly terrible events that ended with incredible blessings. Take our roof, for instance...the original roof that really needed repair was dmaged in a windstorm that resulted in our house getting a new roof, that was much better than the original. Consider the floorings and master bathroom ... on a Thanksgiving Day the hot water heater which was located in the master bedroom closet (of all places!) burst a main water supply pipe and the floors were damaged throughout the house. We ended up with an insurance settlement more than sufficient to replace the grungy worn out flooring throughout the whole house and remodel our master bathroom .
The blessing that was really over the top for me was what happened as a result of my recent illness and hospitalization. I had prayed for some time for the Lord to give me more time to spend with my family. My youngest daughter was growing up so quickly, my job requiring so many hours.
I was stricken with a MSSA (staph) infection so severe that it brought me through heaven's threshold into the throne room of the Almighty, causing endocarditis which is an inflammation of the interior lining of the heart muscle. It damaged one of my heart valves and severely damaged my hearing.
I convalesced at home though for 5 months, at the same time we decided to home school Elli, and so I was able to spend 5 months with my wife and my youngest daughter. How many of us get to spend such a significant amount of uninterrupted real time with those we love, especially our children in their formative years?

Isaiah 61:3 reads that God will "give a crown of beauty for ashes"; how amazing is that thought?

Beloved, perhaps you are in the middle of trials, or sitting on an "ash heap", or  maybe you have just passed through one of life's valleys. Search your memories and recount how many times God has given you beauty for ashes, restored what locusts have devoured, or replaced mediocrity-with something extraordinary.

Forgiveness, Unforgiveness, and Honesty 313

When someone does something, whether intentional or not, that is hurtful or offensive, or both... what do you do? Sure, we all know that Jesus Himself told us how to handle offense:
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." 
Matthew 6:14, 15
Here's the truth: If we don't forgive others their sins against us, our Father will not forgive us! Jesus said it, and God is not just a man that He should lie.

I need to make a confession right here: Recently I was hurt by the actions of some folks I considered close to me. I was offended, I felt they were inconsiderate, and what they did made me feel like they didn't care. I had every right to feel this way, they were dead wrong, and I wanted to hang onto my own self-righteousness. I said that I was not offended, which was a lie. I lied to others about this, saying I was "fine" and I lied to myself, but I couldn't lie to the Lord. He sees into the core of our thoughts, our hearts. I was very much offended. Instead of addressing it and determining in my heart to forgive immediately, I let it fester and take root. I was not forgiving a man his offense against me. Some would perhaps argue that grace would cover my unforgiveness, but I take Jesus at His word, over the words of Paul.: "Your Father will not forgive your sins", and I will chose to forgive, and not just this infraction but all others who have offended or hurt me. The prospect of standing before my Father in heaven and instead of hearing Him say, "Well done good and faithful servant", He declares, " Cast him out into utter darkness, I never knew him" is  frightening, and this must be part of my walk, working out my salvation with fear and trembling. There is another facet of this, too, where I am not the offended, but in fact the offender. How many have I hurt and offended? What would happen or does happen when they walk in offense and there are other roots of bitterness? Is not gossip fueled by these very things?
I have been forgiven much, by others I've hurt who have loved me and covered me even when they had the "right"  not to. But even more than that, I have been loved, covered, and forgiven, really forgiven, the Son taking my place on the cross meant for me.

The Point of It All

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  And though I have  the  gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith,  so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  And  though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love  does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;  does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;  does not rejoice in iniquity, but  rejoices in the truth;  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are  prophecies, they will fail; whether  there    are  tongues, they will cease; whether  there is knowledge, it will vanish away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part.  But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.  For  now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then  face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these  is  love."
I Corinthians 13:1-13 NKJV

Refuge 195

"I will say of the  Lord ,  “He is  my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” 
For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways. 
In  their  hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone. 
“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; 
I will set him on high, because he has  known My name. 
He shall  call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; 
I will deliver him and honor him."
Psalms 91:2, 11, 12, 14, 15

Today I was discussing with a friend some of my testimonies regarding close calls,
situations where I was sheltered from impending serious injury and disasters.
There were 3 bicycle accidents where I was thrown over the handlebars,
one of which was late at night on a drawbridge 40 feet above Biscayne Bay.
I was not wearing a helmet in any of these, I could've broken my neck or other bones, got a concussion or worse. Just a few scrapes and scratches.
I had a motorcycle accident where I car turned right in front of me,
3 serious car accidents, 2 involving pick up trucks, 1 with a big delivery truck while I was driving a small Datsun (Nissan) car, and yet I was protected. He delivered me yet again from a near accident involving a gasoline tanker that jack knifed on a wet highway that had been right next to me only seconds before, shortly after I was born again...Hallelujah!
There have been many other close calls, too many to count.
The Lord has been my refuge and my shelter, and He is yours too.
Beloved, look back at your life,  recount with joy the goodness of the Lord, and give thanks always.
A mighty fortress is our God!

"Be strong and of good courage,  do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the  Lord  your God,  
He  is  the One who goes with you.  He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6 

A Practical Lesson

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
Romans 8:24, 25

Have you ever heard someone say, "God, please give me patience, and give it to me right now?"
Well, this is my prayer. It's not just mine though, I would have to say that most of us struggle with grasping the discipline of  learning to be patient, learning to wait on the Lord.
One of  my most recent blogs deals with this very thing; it's indeed a major struggle!
Yesterday was Shabbat and we were having a guest over for a Shabbat meal, and I needed a loaf of challah bread. Now, we normally just buy one from a supermarket bakery...it's fast, easy, and convenient. So I'm thinking to myself, "I'll just go buy a challah", but the Holy Spirit breaks in and whispers: " this Shabbat, Hugh, you and Elli are going to make your own challah." I google "challah recipes" and as I am reading the recipe I notice the primary ingredient : patience.  It takes over 4 hours to mix, knead, proof and bake challah, but the end result was this big, beautiful challah loaf, and I thanked my Father for that small and practical lesson.
Patience. It is required, not easily attained, and of course, it takes time. Embrace it,beloved,  learn it, and enjoy the fruit it will ultimately bear.

"But those who  wait on the  Lord shall renew  their  strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint. "
Isaiah 40:31 

Deferment/ Expectation v. Reality

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."
Proverbs 13:12

Stricken with a life threatening illness and hospitalized for a month, followed by 5 months of healing and convalescence...I was more than ready to start back to work, or so it seemed.
 I had been approved to start driving a car again. I had been going faithfully to rehab for cardio and vertigo issues, completed the sessions, and so I scheduled my return. I was welcomed back with tremendous warmth from all my colleagues, which was really great! But that day I fell flat on my face. I encountered difficulties I had not expected.  I had high expectations for myself; for my performance and ability to adapt, but I left confused and tired.
My hopes had not been realized, my expectations were in fact not realistic.
I was reminded by everyone that I needed to take it easy, take it slow, and learn to be patient and learn to wait on my Jevovah Rophi, my Healer.
It's true; hope deferred makes the heart sick. I have had more than my share of weariness and weaknesses. I confess here and now that I am impulsive and am inclined to run ahead on my own, not waiting on the Lord. Like an impatient Abraham who couldn't wait for the Lord to bring him a son without Sarah's bright idea, or Moses, who when dealing with a thirsty Israel struck the rock twice,  not waiting for the water to gush out as an always faithful God said it would.
My impatience.  I struggle to acquire and apply patience,  the very thing that is essential to reaching higher, diving deeper and really getting the fullness of the relationship that the Father promises.
Do you?
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;  
but those who hope in the  Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:29-31

52 Days 182

In spite of tremendous odds against them,
Nehemiah and a relatively small group of God's people
rebuilt the broken down walls around Jerusalem in just fifty-two days.
Their enemies tried everything:
lies, fear, discouragement, false prophets, threats, and more,
and the more the work progressed the stiffer the opposition became.
Nehemiah, though, knew the voice of the Lord,
and he also recognized the lies of his enemy, and was not deceived!
We are not to be deceived either.
As sons and daughters of the one true living God who are building or rebuilding that "wall", or whatever that work He has commissioned in our lives , the enemy tries to sneak in and sow his tares.
 A few seeds of fear here, a few of discouragement there,
some lies sprinkled in for good measure…
but God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of courage and a sound mind,
planted and rooted deeply in God's love.
Perfect love, specifically God's love, casts out all fear,
and when God is for us, nothing, absolutely nothing, can stand against us. 
NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST US WILL PROSPER.

So think on those such as these, beloved...Moses, Joshua, Nehemiah, David, Gideon, Barak, Abraham, Noah, Peter, Paul, and so many others in that great cloud of witnesses that some day we will be part of...our God is an awesome God!

"When word came to Sanballat, Tobiah, Geshem the Arab and the rest of our enemies that I had rebuilt the wall and not a gap was left in it—though up to that time I had not set the doors in the gates—  They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, “Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.” But I prayed, “Now strengthen my hands.”    One day I went to the house of Shemaiah son of Delaiah, the son of Mehetabel, who was shut in at his home. He said, “Let us meet in the house of God, inside the temple, and let us close the temple doors, because men are coming to kill you—by night they are coming to kill you.”    But I said, “Should a man like me run away? Or should someone like me go into the temple to save his life? I will not go!”  I realized that God had not sent him, but that he had prophesied against me because Tobiah and Sanballat had hired him.  Remember Tobiah and Sanballat, my God, because of what they have done; remember also the prophet Noadiah and how she and the rest of the prophets have been trying to intimidate me.  
So the wall was completed on the twenty-fifth of Elul, in fifty-two days."
Nehemiah 6:1, 9-12, 14, 15 

Coming Out The Other Side 190

"In all this greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. "
1 Peter 1:6, 7

"Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?” They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.”    He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.” "
Daniel 3:24, 25

February 1 is a milestone for me, as I returned to my "day job",
6 months and 1 day after I was hospitalized and almost died.
 I am here though, to testify of the goodness of the Lord.
Yes, there was travail, pain, tears, losses, but there were relationships revived,
spiritual gains for many,  encouragement that came from my friends and family,
amazing provision and love shown to me and my family.
Through all of this ordeal I never was depressed, rather,
I was joyful at the goodness of the Lord, and how He drew me closer,
and closer still.
In His presence is fullness of joy!
My Abba's tenderness and furious love was so evident in spite of what could've been taken as a dark time. I was pressed down, but not abandoned or destroyed!
Beloved, we are never alone; God is always with us, especially in the fire,
just as Jesus was in the furnace with Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego.
As I continue down the road of recovery, I know that I do not travel alone.  It is with the knowledge that God is with me, with those who seek Him, a very present help in the best of times and troublesome times alike.


"The Sovereign  Lord  is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, 
he enables me to tread on the heights.
Habakkuk 3:19 NIV

The Right Kind of Slave

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."
Galatians 5:1

"But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted.  You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness. "
Romans 6:17, 18 

I was reflecting during worship recently on one of the manifold attributes of Jesus.
The Holy Spirit brought to mind my life before Jesus, when I was a slave to sin, not righteousness. Interestingly, I thought of myself as a liberated, intelligent free thinker, my own man, and I followed the ways that seemed right to me, but I wasn't free at all. Inside of me there was a desperation, the sickening knowledge of being chained to evil and hopelessness, and the desperation was sometimes quiet, sometimes raging...the whole point of my life then was to eat, drink, and party to try to cover that desperation just like asphalt and black top paving covers a parking lot, but inevitably what is underneath sprouts through...
Then God came down, Jesus came to my heart because I believed, confessed, and asked Him to.
He broke off of me the crushingly heavy yoke of sin,  and I took up a new light and easy yoke that Jesus custom made to lift me up.
I am now a slave to righteousness, and my Master is not a cruel slave driver.
He has delivered me, revealed Himself to me as I seek Him,  given me precious gifts from on high. He has  made me a co-heir along with Him, and  calls me brother and friend.
His banner over us all is love, and woven into this fabric is His mercy, grace, lovingkindness, long suffering, power perfected in weakness, wisdom perfected not in reason but in obedience and faith, joy, and much more.